I Never Said I Cared
by daftpen
Summary: Mordecai and Viktor cross paths again, and it becomes hard to deny what could have been. One thing leads to another and the two become eachother's secret. Will it be so easy for Mordecai to walk away a second time? Slash. Human Versions. M FOR A REASON
1. Whiskey

**Oh. My. God. I spent so long trying to upload this thing. I tried like, 3 or 4 different word processing programs before one would cooperate with me. And will it even be worth it? I don't know. **

**This is my first fanfiction (on this account anyway) and one of the very few Viktor/Mordecai fics on the site. I hope it is appreciated by _someone_. Sorry the first chapter is short and fast...**

**-Daft**

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There were many things that Mordecai Heller hated. Injuries on the job were fairly high on that list. He sat in the back seat of his establishment's 'company truck', pensive, and staring through the windshield, his countenance utterly perturbed. His eyes remained focused on a large figure standing on the river bank. Usually, when the Marigold gang intercepted a pick-up, it was relatively quick and easy. Tonight was different, and Mordecai was anxious. Tonight, the suppliers were late, and his former associates were not.

The truck was hidden in a thick mass of trees near the bank, but would have been obvious to anyone who passed had it not been so dark out. Serafine sat in the driver's seat, calculating. Nico occupied the passenger's seat tapping his foot and fiddling with something sticking out of his mouth. Serafine turned and spoke in a soft voice that Mordecai could barely understand. Not that he could ever understand them, anyway. "We kin wait til dey go en din go'en ay way." She suggested.

"Nah, we kin han' dem any day." Nico said, taking the object from his mouth.

"Asa say no fightin' wid'em."

"Ya, en we say we can' help it none, eh? Asa nev' know no differn'. Tree o' dem, tree o' us. We do 'um quick."

"Nah, Nico. Le's jes go bag af' dey leave."

"Look, de shipme' come! Dey here a'yeady, allons." Nico made to open his door but Serafine put a hand on his shoulder and looked ahead at the three men as they approached the boat. Mordecai was steadily growing more nervous as he realized this was actually happening. If he were honest, he much prefered Serafine's plan, as much as he detested her. "We wai' til dey done here. Den we go on bag tell Asa we done could'n get it."

Serafine squinted and looked harder and the group of men at the river bank. A man on the ship was looking straight at the vehicle. He pointed to it and the others turned. Nico saw this as well. One man drew a gun and started toward the truck. "Guess we doin' dis my way, cher." Nico opened his door and drew his gun, firing a couple shots not completely intended for a specific target. Serafine got out and did the same.

Mordecai took a deep breath and followed. He ran past the group of five, avoiding attention, and climbed onto the boat where he finally drew a pistol from his side. He heard shots ring out and a machine gun began to fire. Worry filled him for a moment but he pushed it down quickly. He hid around a corner and when a man came to the door Mordecai swung around and knocked him out. After all, this was also the supplier for Marigold, so killing them would be just a bit counterintuitive, Mordecai decided. He grabbed a crate full of whiskey and started out the other door. He stopped briefly when he saw an old man in a long jacket and sailors hat, who sat and simply waved him on, obviously having seen it all. Mordecai bowed his head in confirmation and slipped out the door. His eyes went to the largest member of the fighting party, who was now sheltered behind the other establishment's vehicle. Mordecai sighed in relief, though he of course would never admit such a thing, even to himself.

He now saw the one with the machine gun, a young man, laughing as he shot to hell everything in his path. Nico and Serafine continued firing shots from the cover of trees. The man behind the truck shouted at his associates. "You two, go! Naow!" Mordecai ducked with the crate as the two younger Lackadaisy employees ran toward the boat, the older man still behind their vehicle. The one with the machine gun backed up toward the boat, still shooting as the other did the same with his less-impressive weapon.

When they reached the other entrance of the boat, Mordecai slipped off of it and headed toward the Marigold truck. Another shot sounded and Mordecai stumbled, dropping the crate of whiskey. He looked up ahead of him where Nico stood looking at him with a shocked expression. "Mo chagren" He said and turned away, running to their vehicle. Shots from the Lackadaisy truck continued, aimed at the siblings. Mordecai looked down at his bloody coat, then back at the retreating pair. They meant to leave him. The truck started noisily and backed away as machine gun blasts started again from the departing boat. Once out of range of one another, all shooting ceased. Mordecai put a hand over his wound and winced as the pain finally reached his brain. He toppled over completely, groaning. He could hear the boat getting further away, carrying the two young Lackadaisies.

There remained only two on the river bank. Sand and rock shifted under the other's feet as he came closer and bent to retrieve Mordecai from the ground with a sound of strain. Mordecai was lifted and taken to the Lackadaisy truck and set inside. He opened one eye and watched the other man go to retrieve the box of alcohol. It's not that he wasn't grateful, it was just that he would have rather not have had to face this man.

Mordecai felt completely humiliated. Nico had shot him. _Shot him_. By _accident_! How incredibly, unbelievably, intolerably, simple minded and senseless does one have to be to _shoot their own partner_? Mordecai thought, far beyond irritated. Granted, it was only a wound in his side, and would not be fatal, but it still hurt! And on top of that, he had left him there! Mordecai felt for his gun but found that he must have dropped it with the crate. He sighed, defeated, and his eye began to twitch as the larger man made his way back to the truck, alcohol and pistol in hand. The man put the crate in the back of the truck and returned to the driver's side, with one bottle of Old Log Cabin whiskey in one hand, and Mordecai's abandoned gun in the other.

Mordecai looked at him reluctantly as he put the pistol under the driver's seat and looked back to Mordecai. "Hello... Viktor." He said with much strain, still clutching his side. Viktor looked at him, unamused and stoic, and did not reply, his singular left eye studying Mordecai for a moment. He set the bottle on the seat of the truck and hauled himself up in it, trying not to place the burden too heavily on his knees.

Once inside, Viktor motioned for Mordecai to take his hand away from the wound. Reluctantly, he did so, cringing, and began to unbutton his clothing. Three layers were removed before Mordecai exposed the hole in his side. It was not as serious as the thought it was. In fact, the bullet had not penetrated any organs, rather, it had gone straight through the muscle and fat- what little of that there was- of his left side, and, had it gone just two inches more to his left, would have missed him completely. He sat up in a start when he felt Viktor's hand on his skin. "Hold still." he said, Slovak accent thick in his words, and Mordecai braced himself.

The Old Log Cabin burned immensely as it was poured straight through the wound. Mordecai grit his teeth and groaned painfully as the alcohol went to work on his mangled flesh. Viktor smiled to himself, with some amount of ironic contempt, glad he could cause Mordecai _just a little_ pain, as payback for what the younger had done to him just a couple years prior. His left knee a constant reminder of Mordecai's way of _reasoning_.

It was not a very large space, in the front of that old worn-out truck, but it was enough for Viktor to deal with, though he was in close proximity to his partner-turned- enemy, which made it somewhat uncomfortable to try and reach under the seat for what he was searching for. His face was nearly in the younger man's lap when he found a rag under the seat. He snached it up quickly and returned to a more comfortable position, and proceeded to press the scrap of cloth against Mordecai's injured side. Mordecai recoiled slightly at the pressure, still recovering from the burn of the alcohol, and hissed out a breath. Viktor looked up into his ex-partner's green eyes, which were somewhat squinted in discomfort.

He looked older now than he had before. Viktor guessed that he was only about 29 or 30, but his eyes had shadows underneath that added years to his appearance. "Hold there." Mordecai moved his hand on top of the elder man's to take over applying pressure. Viktor held his gaze just a little longer before turning in the driver's seat, capping the whiskey, and starting the engine. Mordecai looked away, his pride damaged, and took to staring out the window as Viktor drove them away. He didn't care where they were going at that point. He was just relieved that the tension was broken. Was there tension? Of course. There always had been.

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**Please tell me what you think! R&R gets more chapters~!**


	2. The Good Old Days

**So... chapter 2. It feels good to finish a chapter. Even if it is short and I don't even think anyone's reading this. Well, I know one person is because I got a total of one review. Special thanks to you ;]**

**-Daft**

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1922. Viktor sat across the table from a young dark haired man with spectacles. A chess board rested on the table between them. The two had gotten to know each other very well in the year passed, and became known for having something of a partnership. One was hardly ever seen without the other, and more often than not, when one was mentioned, it did not go without mentioning of the other as well.

The younger, Mordecai, moved a pawn into a strategic position on the board. Viktor in response, disposed of said pawn in his next turn. Mordecai was very young. Only 23 at the time, and far too young in the opinion of most who knew his real age, to be doing the kind of work he did, and for the man he did the aforementioned work for. But despite his age, Mordecai was bright and quick with his hands. Though not always the wisest or most graceful by any means, he certainly knew what he was doing. And he was good at it.

He looked up at his opponent while he calculated his next move halfheartedly. The pair was waiting for a competing establishment's rum runner to arrive at a nearby train station in Defiance, Missouri, where Atlas had been collecting his source of income for some time. The alcohol was being stolen regularly and Atlas had sent the two to deal with the problem as a response.

Mordecai gave up on the game and laid his hand on the table near where the older man's hand was resting. He looked at him again and their eyes met. Mordecai looked away and turned his attention to the window, or, rather, what was outside of it. With his eyes averted and a straight face, he moved his hand ever so slightly to the left, brushing Viktor's. Viktor in turn looked away as well and grasp the younger man's hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. Mordecai did the same in return, and as he gazed out the window at the railroad tracks, his lips curved in the faintest of smiles and his eyes softened just a bit.

That was not the first act of fond affection the two shared, and it would not be the last.

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1927. Viktor stopped the noisy old truck only about half a mile away from where they had started. Mordecai paid no mind to this and continued glaring out the window at nothing- and everything. Viktor cleared his throat, "Eh... Vhere should I go naow?" His voice was even and low, reluctant to exchange even the most simple and necessary words with his old partner. The whole situation, after all, was a bit awkward and most unexpected. The younger man took a second to think about this. He was debating on whether or not he should tell Viktor where he lived. Though he, of course, knew where Viktor lived. This being only because he knew Viktor had not moved, naturally, and certainly not because he often glanced at the apartment when he happened to pass by.

Mordecai applied a slight pressure to the wound under his makeshift compress to assess his physical ability to get out and walk the two miles to his home from where they were parked. His face contorted at the pain and he hesitated before telling Viktor his home address. It was not that he necessarily _could not_ walk. Only that he preferred not to and saw no real and immediate danger in giving this information to Viktor.

The older man began to drive once again, this time with a destination. He didn't know what had happened between them. They used to be so close, but for the past several years Mordecai had hardly glanced in his direction. It had always bothered Viktor that the younger man gave no explanation regarding his departure from Lackadaisy and subsequent joining of Marigold. He even found himself thinking sometimes that it was somehow his fault.

Viktor sighed, pushing away memories that threatened to resurface from the glory days. It was in the past now, and it appeared those times were not to be mentioned on this or any other night. His questions would have to go unanswered.

"This one here." Mordecai directed, pointing at an average, albeit small, townhouse up ahead. Viktor parked the truck and turned off the engine in front of the building. Mordecai made to open his door but the elder gingerly clutched his arm. "Let me see again. You may need doktor."

"Oh, nonsense... It's only a flesh wound. Minor, really." Mordecai removed the cloth- which was sticking to him now with drying blood- and despite himself, let out a wince.

Viktor rolled his eyes- _eye_- and moved Mordecai's clothing away to see the damage, while trying not to be too awfully invasive. He gently felt around the wound where the skin was warm and irritated and then made a face. Sure the damage itself was minor but it could get horridly infected. Viktor realized his actions could be taken for concern and pulled away, sitting up. "You vill live."

Mordecai scoffed. "I thought as much."

Viktor looked at him, slightly hurt by his words, but disguised it as annoyed, furrowing his brow at the younger man. Mordecai felt a pang of guilt as he opened the door of the vehicle. Before closing it, he turned to the elder, swallowed his pride, and looked him in the eye. Viktor looked worn down. Not so much old, just... tired. Like he must have felt 10 years older than he really was. Mordecai knew the years had not been kind to Viktor, between loosing both knees and being shot in the lungs, not to mention the occasional stab wound or bullet to the arm. And before that, there was the war to consider, where he had lost his right eye. This man had had a difficult life, and Mordecai respected him. Thinking about these things only made the guilt multiply. On top of that, he thought, no one else would have helped him that night. His partners abandoned him, and he would have either had to wait for some kind soul to happen upon him, or walked nearly three miles to his home.

Maintaining eye contact, Mordecai took a deep breath and gave the elder a nod. "Thank you... Viktor. Truly."

"Is no problem... Take care of that." he said, referring to the injury. Mordecai nodded again, offering a weak wave of departure to Viktor before closing the door and walking up the 3 steps into his home, disappearing through the entrance.

Viktor sat alone in the driver's seat and gripped the steering wheel lightly, laying his head on it. He remained that way for a moment before starting the engine once again and heading toward his own home, where he would be alone once more.

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**Yes, short chapter indeed. Sorry for that but it felt right to end where I did. Please send feedback it's greatly appreciated.**


	3. Warning

**This... Is short. Again. My apologies. I'm not very good at this chapter thing yet but at least I'm getting them done quickly. I'd rather have short regular chapters than long, infrequent ones any day. However, if you put it on the 1/2 screen setting it looks longer! :D**

**Thanks so much to those who reviewed, and I'm looking forward to writing this more and more with each bit of feedback!**

**I hope this chapter isn't too boring or corny. This story is a hard one to write. **

**-Daft**

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1923. The engine rumbled and sputtered to life, finally, after two failed attempts. Viktor smiled triumphantly and gave the car gas, driving out of the corn field and back onto the dirt road. Mordecai sat content and calm in the passenger's seat and looked forward out the windshield. The two had just recovered from a brief but intense verbal quarrel pertaining to Viktor's interest- or lack thereof- in symmetry and grammar, followed by the disposal of that which caused the argument- an unfortunate young man whom they were given orders to _deal with_ earlier that day.

The air that night was perfect. Not hot but not too cold to be uncomfortable. The moon was nearly full and every star in the sky seemed to be burning brighter than usual down on the Missouri countryside. They had only been back on the road for a few minutes when Mordecai spoke, having already forgotten about their spat. "Pull over."

"Vhat? Here? I just started car- You know how long it take to start this car?" Viktor answered, looking from the road to his partner and shaking his head. He took notice of the rather melancholy expression on Mordecai's face, even though the younger man was not looking at him. He let out a defeated sigh and pulled off to the side of the road, turning the engine off once more and looked at Mordecai with a deadpan expression.

"Thank you."

Viktor sat a moment, uncomfortable with nothing to occupy him. "So vhat naow?"

"I didn't think that far ahead. I just don't want to go back yet."

Viktor nodded in understanding and toyed with the steering wheel, using his thumbs to move it left and right. "I didn't mean to, eh, _upset_ you... Symmetry is... is great."

Mordecai turned to him and smiled, which evolved into a chuckle when he saw Viktor's face. It was an expression that asked, _That _is_ why you're upset, itsn't it? _The younger shook his head and looked back out the windshield and up at the moon. Viktor smiled, happy to hear the rare and elusive sound of Mordecai's laughter, even if it was brief, and at his own expense. He put his arm up and rested it on the back of the seat, the other hand on the steering wheel, idle.

Viktor's gaze drifted to the moon as well for a moment before going back to the younger man, who had taken instead to looking out the passenger's window. Viktor noticed that his hand was very close to the younger's shoulder, and slowly, impulsively, began toying with the seam of the black fabric of his suit, pinching it first, and then running his finger aimlessly back and forth along the stitching.

Mordecai looked over his shoulder at Viktor, and the elder looked right back at him, without halting his actions, still fingering the material. Mordecai put his hand on Viktors firmly, as if to remove it, but did not. "Mind the symmetry." He warned.

Viktor rolled his _eye_ and scooted slightly closer to the other man. Mordecai looked perturbed and was about to scold the other when he was grabbed around his midsection and pulled closer to him until their sides were flush. Viktor then moved his hand to Mordecai's far shoulder and rested it there. Mordecai's expression changed from outraged to perplexed to something akin to impressed. "I... suppose this is symmetrical as well, isn't it?" he reasoned, looking from his right over to Viktor's left, noting that the space on either side was equal. He looked back up at Viktor, who's face was much closer than he thought it would be, and smiled in pleasant defeat before resting his head back on a muscled shoulder and looking up at the starry sky again. "Very suave, my friend. Very suave."

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1927. After a couple of weeks at home with no strenuous activity, or that which involved dangerous weapons, Mordecai returned to his place of employment. He didn't necessarily need all that time off for his injury. Really he just took it for himself. He had told Asa he was 'Taking some personal time.' and had left it at that.

He stood by Asa's side as the larger scribbled on some things scattered about his desk. Mordecai was incredibly bored and slightly annoyed, knowing he would have to see those intolerable siblings again soon. Very soon. He heard the obnoxious laughter of the pair outside of Asa's door just before they came through. The laughter ceased when their eyes landed on Mordecai and their faces fell. Then, all at once, they looked at each other and began howling their amusement all over again.

Mordecai's eye twitched. He despised the two insufferable simpletons he was forced to call his associates. Asa smiled his smile that always seemed to look sneaky, even if that was not the intention, and turned to Mordecai. "What're they laughin' about, Spooky?" Mordecai rolled his eyes and scowled.

Nico straightened up and caught his breath "He done had uh lit' trouble de udda nigh' tha's all, eh, Serafine?"

Sarafine caught her breath as well, smiled and nodded her confirmation. "We was worryin' 'bout you, cher! How you get bag home?"

"Well, it helped that Nico is a horrendous shot." Mordecai said out of spite.

Nico wasn't sure whether or not he should be offended. Asa spoke before he could question it. "Well as much as I'd like to hear the end of that story, it's gettin' late and we have to discuss tomorrow's pickup. It's quite a large one this time. Mitzi's boys is sure to be there. Now as much as I don't wanna cause trouble with her, she's being more than a little stubborn. If y'all get there and she's got her boys there, I want you to _take care of them_. We can't afford to lose this deal, and if she looses both a couple o' men _and_ this shipment, she'll have no options but to turn to me. If it takes some skull smashin' for her to come to her senses then so be it." Mordecai's heart skipped a beat and a dreadful anxiety came over him, but he remained outwardly unaffected.

* * *

Mordecai looked to his left, his right, and left again before slipping through the entrance of the Little Daisy cafe. Mitzi was in a booth chatting with a man Mordecai recognized as Sedgewick Sable. He approached them, still glancing about the room. There was no one else upstairs at the time. "I would hate to interrupt, Mitzi, but I'd like a word with you... Outside."

Mitzi was surprised to see him, to say the least. In the past couple years he had been working with Asa, he had never come to her like this to warn her about a pickup, as she assumed this visit was about. "Well what is this all about?" Mitzi thought for a moment that maybe he was here for another reason, but quickly pushed it away, hoping that Asa wasn't prepared to go that far in his attempt to gain ownership of the Lackadaisy.

"I have some information on a rather unfortunate development I think you should know about."

Mitzi nodded and got out of her booth. She pat a bewildered Sedgewick on the hand. "I'll be right back, dear." she assured him in her sweetest voice.

They stepped outside and made their way to the back of the building, opening the door to the area where the vehicles were kept and the garage was located. Mordecai looked around as Mitzi shut the door and turned to him. He cleared his throat before speaking. "My apologies for coming on such short notice."

Mitzi sighed. "This better be good, Mr. Heller."

Mordecai put his hands in his pockets and looked at Mitzi somberly."It's Asa. It seems he's willing to go to extremes now to get to the Lackadaisy. He's told my associates and I that there's a considerable shipment that will be arriving tomorrow night and that you plan to collect there. Is that correct?" Mitzi nodded. "He's given us orders to kill your employees if they should cause a hindrance at the pickup site. I thought it only fair that you should be warned."

Mitzi covered her mouth and furrowed her brow in thought. "I didn't think he's stoop that low... Thank you for the warning, Mordecai. I'll think on it."

"I know I don't really have the right, but, if I may offer some advice... Don't send anyone tomorrow. Those two imbeciles I work with will do whatever they're told. Especially so if it involves gratuitous slaughter. You could probably afford to miss the inventory if it saves you some men."

"Agreed. You're sure he gave orders to _kill_?"

Mordecai nodded "Positive."

"Thank you again for letting me know." She turned to leave through the door they had come in, and before exiting looked back to Mordecai. "You're welcome to go down stairs if you'd like. Not much of a crowd these days."

He nodded to her once again and she hit the light switch before slipping out the door. He waited until the lights slowly flickered off so he could exit unseen and was heading to the door as well when the lights inexplicably came back on. He reached for his gun and turned around only to see Viktor standing there with a wrench in hand.

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**:D I was going for 'Cliffhanger', did I do it right?**

**Please Review~**


	4. I'm Sorry

**Ok! Chapter 4! I just want you guys to know that I spend a lot of time on each chapter. Write a little. Read it. Write some more. Get rid of that. Try again. It's a long process for me and I'm still not sure if I fixed all the mistakes because I haven't read the thing as a whole!**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it **

**PS. All of my intros from the past are based on Lackadaisy extras or on things mentioned in the comic ;]**

**-Daft**

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1924. After a mildly amusing, equally awkward, and not very informative talk about exactly what _the look_ was, sparked by a gawking female at the train station, Mordecai and Viktor sat uncomfortably across from one another in a private train compartment. Mordecai looked at the older man thoughtfully, eyebrows unconsciously growing closer the more he considered. His eyes remained fixed even after Viktor looked up at him. "Vhat? Is symmetry again?" the two shared a knowing smile and Mordecai's face softened before shaking his head and looking away. He was suddenly determined to clean his glasses until they were positively unblemished.

Mordecai felt the elder's eyes on him the whole time. He slowed in his task and looked up at Viktor with only his eyes, keeping his head down. Mordecai looked younger without his spectacles on, Viktor noted. It made him feel like he was sinning just looking at the handsome, well-dressed young man. He made Viktor feel old and unattractive. But at the same time, when they were together, he felt like he was young and full of life. At the age of 38 he could keep up with this 25-year-old mercenary, and that felt pretty good.

Mordecai held his stare for a moment before sighing, straightening, and placing his glasses back on his face. "What are we doing?"

Viktor looked at him, surprised. "Vhat you mean? Ve are on train."

Mordecai glared daggers at him. "You know very well what I _mean_, Viktor. I've had quite enough of this nonsense." He sounded bitter, hopeful, and nervous all at once.

Viktor leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, looking out the window. He let Mordecai sit there for a moment, simmering in his own increasing frustration. "Nonsense, yeah?"

"_Yeah_." Mordecai mocked, agitated.

Viktor looked back to him, thinking. There was a light in his eye that unsettled Mordecai. _What have I just_- Viktor's hand shot out, grabbing Mordecai's tie, and pulled him forward, covering the young man's mouth with his own. Mordecai hesitated but quickly returned the offer of lips. Viktor kissed him repeatedly, removing his hand from the tie and placing it firmly on the back of Mordecai's head, his other elbow still on his knee. It was not the most comfortable or practical position to snog in, but neither man cared at that moment. It had finally happened.

* * *

1927. He reached for his gun and turned around only to see Viktor standing there with a wrench in hand.

"I vas vorking. Need light _on_." he said, turning to go back to one of the trucks that seemed to always need maintenance of some sort. Mordecai straightened up and cleared his throat, following the larger man to said vehicle. He wasn't sure why he was doing it yet, but was sure he could come up with some reason- if not an excuse. He stood nearby, taking his glasses off and cleaning them. Viktor had realized years earlier it was a kind of nervous habit Mordecai had, though he didn't think Mordecai knew it himself. It was strange to know someone so well that had been so alienated. Though Viktor hadn't had a decent conversation with him for what seemed like a lifetime, he knew the man well enough he could probably have told you what he ate for breakfast that morning.

Mordecai put his glasses back on. "So... You heard our conversation?"

"Yeah." Viktor responded, looking at the engine before him in bewilderment. "Jebem tá." he said, defeated, closing the hood.

Mordecai looked his ex-partner over as Viktor reached into a pocket and produced a small flask, taking a drink of the liquid within and making a face that looked like he wished he hadn't before capping it again. He looked to Mordecai and offered it to him. Mordecai made a foul face and shook his head. Viktor smiled, remembering what an intoxicated Mordecai Heller looked like.

Viktor sighed and Mordecai shoved his hands in his pockets and they both began to speak at once.

"Look, Viktor-"

"Vhat happened-"

They simultaneously cleared their throats, looking at anything but each other. "How's your...?" Viktor pointed to his own side, indicating he was trying to ask how Mordecai was healing.

"Oh!" Mordecai started, "I'm quite well now, thank you." He said, rubbing the spot that was scarring nicely underneath his clothing.

The silence crept up on them again and awkwardly, almost unintentionally, they started looking one another over, as if to see if the other had changed since their last encounter. The air was curiously warm for late November, Mordecai noted in the back of his head. It was then that he also took note of Viktor's simple cotton shirt which lay tight across his chest, and his trademark suspenders that outlined the firm muscle under it. He watched that large, expansive chest rise with each intake of air, and fall with every exhale.

Likewise, Viktor studied his face, or, more specifically, his lips. They had always been one of Mordecai's most exceptional features. They were not large, but not thin, and had a slight but masculine plumpness that was rarely seen. And God, did he know how to use them.

With that thought, Viktor pulled his eyes off of the younger man, somewhat embarrassed. "You, eh, vant to sit?"

Mordecai was equally embarrassed and looked away quickly. "Where?" he said, suddenly looking around, far too interested in where this seat might be. Viktor went around the truck, past Mordecai, and opened the door, offering the truck seat to the younger. Mordecai thought for a moment that he shouldn't, but the concept fizzled away as he walked around Viktor and sat inside, nodding his appreciation. His eyes didn't leave the older man as Viktor went back around and sat in the driver's seat, hoisting himself in. Mordecai thought this was an all-too-familiar thing for them, this whole front seat business. Not that they should be in the back seat, of course! He thought quickly before mentally slapping himself, the implications too much for him at the moment. It was quiet again as they sat next to each other, only about 2 feet of empty seat between them.

Viktor took another swig from his flask and made another face, though it was less appalled this time. He took a deep, calming breath, determined to talk to Mordecai like an adult who could handle a proper conversation with another adult. To talk to him like an old friend, and not something more awkward or difficult. It would make it easier to handle a discussion. _If_ they ever started having it.

Mordecai cleared his throat yet again, another nervous habit, "What... were you going to say, earlier?"

Viktor thought for a moment and remembered, glad not that he had not gotten to say it. "Is nothing."

He heard Mordecai let out an agitated sigh and decided that asking the silly question was better than sitting in awkward silence again. "Vhat happened... Back then? Vhy did you leave?"

Mordecai was relieved that the question didn't turn out the way he had anticipated, but this one angered him somewhat.

"Don't start that, now, you know very well why I _left_."

Viktor looked at him seriously. "No. I don't. I haf no idea vhy, vhen ve needed you here most, you just leaf!"

"I didn't _just leave_, Viktor."

"Ah, yeah. I forget. You shoot me, _then_ you leaf!" He shouted, his face growing more accusing.

Mordecai wondered briefly if Mitzi knew Viktor was back here and _wanted_ the two of them to talk. He pushed it aside. It didn't matter anyway.

"I did what I had to! You could have come, but you chose to stay."

"Yes, and you choose to leaf."

"I didn't _choose_! Mitzi sent me to work for Asa, remember?"

"... No."

"Yes! And then Asa asked you to come with us, and you refused. We had a chance to... To work together and you turned it down."

Viktor sat thinking about this for a moment. He hadn't known that Mitzi sent him. He realized many things. One being that Mordecai wanted to be with him, and he was assuming when he said 'work together' that wasn't _exactly_ what he meant. Another being that Mordecai evidently had not gone because he _wanted_ to. And last, that Asa had lied to Mordecai. "Asa nefer came to me. Ve never talk. He doesn't, eh, vell, ve haf nefer like each other much."

Mordecai looked confused and conflicted. "No. No, he told me that he asked you to come with us and that you refused." Mordecai looked at Viktor, desperate for confirmation, but Viktor could only offer a sorry stare in return. Mordecai looked away, realizing he'd been played. "Why would they... did they... Did they do it on purpose?" He was not used to being out of the know, and detested the feeling of confusion.

Viktor thought about this as well. Did they _know_? Even if they did, why would they tear the two apart? A better question was, "Then... Still, vhy did you shoot me?"

Mordecai looked at him with a start and felt slightly embarrassed. "Well... I was angry. And... If you weren't with us, you'd be against us. I thought it best, in my disapprobation, that you cease such work lest I be given orders to do something that would not be in your best interests as a consequence of your employment."

Viktor understood. It was a complicated way of saying, _You pissed me off but I still cared enough to shoot you so I wouldn't have to do worse later._

"Not that it had any apparent effect, seeing as you're still here." Mordecai scoffed.

Viktor sighed. He knew there was no use arguing any of this. It was a matter that was two years old and could not be reversed now. But at least they had talked and learned the truth. He looked over at Mordecai, defeated. "I'm... Sorry."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know... I'm sorry that things turn out this vay."

It was Mordecai's turn to sigh. "Yeah. Me too... Especially about... You know..." Mordecai made a 'gun' with his hand and pretended to shoot Viktor's knee. Viktor chuckled and rubbed at the knee of his stretched-out leg, then lay his head back on the seat and turned is tired gaze to Mordecai, who looked equally tired and even more sorry, almost as if he would cry. But Mordecai Heller didn't cry. Ever.

They were content to just sit there looking at each other a while, as if they were sending _I'm sorries_ back and forth telepathically. Viktor felt something warm brush against his hand that was lying on the seat between them. He recognized it immediately and took hold of it, squeezing. The other did the same.

It was much later that the two parted ways. They had caught up, talked about important things, regrets, plans, Viktor's extensive injuries and how they were taking their toll on him. And trivial things as well. They mentioned the past a couple of times, but it seemed like that only lead back to the subject of regret, which was not something either were fond of talking about. Their long conversation was filled with occasional hand contact and fleeting _I missed this_ looks. They did not mention whatever it was that was between them, their romance, as the sentimental might call it. But it did not need mention to be rekindled that night, though both were loath to admit it or even acknowledge it.

When it came time for Mordecai to leave, it was because the sun was in the sky and he desperately needed sleep. They stood at the door that lead out, where Viktor had caught Mordecai the night before. They weren't sure how to say 'Good bye' now. Gathering his courage, Viktor put a hand on Mordecai's shoulder and placed a chaste kiss on his temple. Putting the sides of their heads together he still refused to say goodbye. "I vill see you soon, yeah?" his voice was soft and low and pleasing so close to Mordecai's ear.

The younger nodded, briefly grabbing Viktor's arm in a reassuring manner before pulling away gently and slipping out the door, looking in all directions as he slunk away. Viktor did not feel so lonely knowing that there was still someone who cared. As a matter of fact, he felt better than he had in two years.

* * *

**Just so we're clear. . . They didn't have sex. They didn't even kiss. I just don't want to give anyone the wrong idea there with that ending.**

**Tell me how I'm doing Please! It motivates me ;]**


	5. Clean

**Short, short short, short short! I'm so sorry this chapter is tiny. I've been having trouble writing. Just hang in there until I figure out what to do next. I had a plan coming into this story, and I was sticking to it. But now I don't know what to do! **

**I hope everyone can forgive me for this pathetic excuse for a chapter. **

**-Daft**

* * *

It's not that Mordecai didn't like Viktor. He just didn't like the conflicting feelings the man caused within him. He sighed for the umpteenth time that afternoon. It was not something he would normally do, but on this particular afternoon his mind was plagued with memories. He didn't feel much like reading. Or doing a crossword. Or any of the other boring things he usually did in his time off. Inevitably, this left him with too much time to just sit around and think. And to make things worse, he just simply could not get comfortable. The early December air outside was too cold for a walk, and the fire inside was making the house too hot. No clothing he owned felt comfortable on him, the scar on his side was itchy, and his hair refused to stay back and instead kept falling in his face. All together, he was half naked, hot, itchy, bored, and incredibly irritated.

The raven haired man took a deep, calming breath, and decided that he would clean. Cleaning always helped take his mind off things, and he hadn't done it in a while, anyway. Sufficiently relaxed, pushing the hair from his face again and straightening his glasses, he made his way to his small bed room and set about changing his bed linens.

* * *

Viktor felt great. He sat cleaning guns for Mitzi- just one of the many tasks she always found for him to do before they opened up in the evenings- and smiling to himself. Well, he was trying not to. Every time he realized he was making a ridiculous expression he quickly wiped it from his features, but, inevitably, it returned soon after.

Stupid, lop-sided grin on his face once again, he was startled when he heard a feminine clearing of the throat. He hid the expression away and looked up to see Mitzi in the doorway. She wore her usual half-concerned, half-apathetic expression but regarded him with raised brows. "How did it go?"

Viktor furrowed his brow and turned his attention back to cleaning the pistol in his hand. "Haow did vhat go?" He only hoped she wasn't talking about what he thought she was talking about.

"Well... Did you talk to him?" Of course. Mitzi leaned against the wall with her hands behind her back. Why did she have to look so innocent and nice and have such a sweet voice? Viktor would have been able to lie to anyone else.

He sighed, not bothering to play dumb. "Yeah. Ve talk."

"Yeah? How was it?" She sounded a little excited, and offered a little smile when he looked up at her. He tried to look mean and scary but she wasn't falling for it. He nearly sighed again but he stifled it.

"Vas okay. Not much to talk about." Okay, so he could lie a little.

Mitzi gave him an expression of doubt and he only shrugged in response, turning once again back to the gun.

"You two were such good friends... I felt terrible when he left." She looked down at the floor, sadness covering her features.

"Is because it vas your fault?" He glared at her this time, determined to make her feel bad.

She sent him a sorry glance before looking down again. "I had to. I needed someone I could trust on Asa's side. Not that I trust Mordecai, really, but he was my best option at the time. I know you were friends with him, but please understand. I didn't have much of a choice. I still don't."

Viktor could no longer concentrate on cleaning the weapon. He sighed and ran a hand over his face. It was that word. Friends. Mitzi looked him over, noting his apparent distress. "Are you okay, dear?" She moved over to where he was sitting and took a seat next to him, laying a small hand gently on his huge arm. He looked at her. Tired, sad, hurt, and implying. He wanted her to know that there was more between Mordecai and himself but didn't want to say it aloud. He hoped she would guess. But she didn't assume anything. Viktor was torn between disappointed because he couldn't tell her of the true nature of their relationship, and relieved because he wasn't sure he was ready for anyone to know.

He just nodded at her and regarded the gun again. Mitzi pat him on the shoulder and started out the door she had come in. She turned to him before walking out. "I really am sorry Viktor. I know he means a lot to you." And then she was gone. Leaving Viktor to decide what she meant by that.

* * *

**Well, there it is. Let's just call this... half a chapter? . . . A filler? . . . A small update? . . . Proof I'm still alive? I'll have more soon! Really!**


	6. Business

**Hey! I wrote something! Sorry if it's a little boring, but the faster we get through the boring, the faster we get to the not-so-boring ;] **

**I just hope there are still people reading this..**

**-Daft**

* * *

Serafine stepped into the small office with Nico entering just behind her. Asa looked up at them from his paper apathetically, raising his brow slightly. "How'd it go? We get a big haul?"

"Eh, yeah, Boss, but..."

"Mitzi's bois, dey di'nt show up."

Asa looked from Serafine to Nico, thinking. "Are you sure? She had to have known... That shipment was supposed to be huge!"

Serafine shrugged, "Maybe she din' wanna risk it?"

Asa returned to his paper, a bit disappointed at the missed opportunity to cause some more damage to the Lackadaisy establishment. If his plan had worked out, they would have fallen for good and Mitzi would surely have had to finally step down. "Ah, well... Always next time. She's bound ta slip up sooner or later." Asa looked up, confused for a moment, and looked behind him. "Hey, you two seen Spooky around?"

The siblings shrugged and shook their heads "Not sin' las' night, he was dere when we go to collect, but he din' stay long."

Asa nodded, "Well if ya see 'im, send 'im in" and shooed them out of the office.

Ten minutes later, Mordecai entered, shutting the door quietly behind him. "Hey, Happy, where you been?" Asa beamed.

"I just arrived. As to where I was, that is none of your concern. You wanted to see me?" He stood in front of the desk, hands behind his back, waiting for a response.

Asa looked him up and down. "You been gone a lot lately, eh?" Mordecai looked on at him, raising a brow, silently asking for Asa to reach his point. "I been thinkin'... You left in a hurry the other night. And then, yesterday, them Lackadaisy boys didn't show up. Now, with you gone so much, and that little coincidence, you might just have some people thinkin' that you're helpin' out our competing establishment. But you wouldn't do that, would you?" Asa gave him one of his deceptively friendly smiles, waiting for an answer.

"Of course not. That insane woman and her ludicrous group of questionable individuals she calls employees doesn't deserve assistance. We both know she's barely holding onto her resources, she should fall any day at this point." Mordecai responded, keeping his cool. He was however, very disturbed that Asa had been able to come up with such a deduction, considering he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Asa nodded and grinned. "That's what I thought. Just makin' sure. But, while we're talkin' bout it, as your boss, I feel I am entitled to ask exactly where you have been Mr. Heller... Would you care to inform me?" He folded his hands and leaned forward with his elbows on the desk, watching Mordecai and waiting for a response.

Mordecai twitched. He hated it when Asa tried to sound smart. He had always thought the man was a complete idiot. "Again, you may be my employer, but where I am outside of this establishment and it's activities is none of your business."

Asa's smile dropped and he looked hard at the young man in front of him. "Fine. I have some errands for you to run for me." Asa knew that Mordecai hated running errands, but if this was all the punishment he had to face, he wouldn't argue. As far as Mordecai knew, Asa was prepared to let the issue drop if he did a couple miniscule tasks for him, and that was enough.

* * *

It took Mordecai approximately 12 minutes to realize that the Savoy siblings were following him around town. He rolled his eyes. Idiots. All of them. As if he would be foolish enough to do anything suspicious right after speaking with Asa about his recurring absences. The worst part was that now he wanted to prove Asa right. He wanted to throw his job out the window. He wanted to waltz into the Little Daisy and chat up Mitzi just for a bit of fun. Then he wanted to return to Asa and throw _him_ out a window. If he could find one the man would fit through.

He ignored the siblings' terrible job at trailing him and continued around town, doing this ridiculous job for his ridiculous boss, talking to ridiculous people about ridiculous things that Asa thought would help his ridiculous business. Why he would send Mordecai was anyone's guess. Mordecai was not a people-person. Or a negotiator. He just shot things and stole things and any and all negotiating he did was with his pistol to someone's head. He was not a talker. He was a thinker. And a do-er. But he kept himself in check for today, to satisfy Asa, and powered through it.

* * *

Rocky and Calvin followed Viktor down the dry bank of the river, once again on their way to collect what little they got weekly from the faithful and apathetic Captain Kehoe. Viktor's mind had been on Mordecai almost constantly but an hour with Rocky was enough to kill a couple braincells and numb anyone's mind to the point of barely having coherent thoughts. "And by the way, do you still think I'm like spaghetti noodles? Because I think I've really been bulking up I mean, don't get me wrong- I agree with you about me before- but now, I mean look at this improvement!" Rocky said in one breath, flexing his thin noodle-arms for emphasis. Viktor turned around and glared at him.

"You. You alvays are talking! Vhy can you not be more like smaller one and stop with all these noise coming out of your face!" Viktor huffed and stared at Rocky, who still had his arms flexed.

"... But I _have_ gotten bigger, right?!" He asked, grinning.

Viktor rolled his eye and turned around again, heading toward the boat. Rocky turned to Freckle, who looked a little worried, and flexed at him this time, wiggling his brows. Freckle shook his head and followed Viktor.

The stop didn't take long and they got more liquor out of the deal than they normally did for their weekly visit, which was a good thing after the recent losses. Viktor was satisfied with the haul and was in a better mood, if only for a little while.

* * *

It was very late when Mordecai returned home from the Maribel Hotel, knowing that the Savoys would follow him there and stay approximately half an hour to make sure he was staying put before they went back to report to Asa that they had not seen anything suspicious. However, before that half hour had even ended, Mordecai had snuck out the back way and taken a cab to the Little Daisy Cafe. Idiots.

He caught who he was looking for at the entrance to the underground behind the shelf in the cafe."Mitzi, we need to ta-!"

Mitzi jumped and turned around quickly, swinging her handbag. This time, Mordecai caught her wrist before the surprisingly heavy little bag could connect with his face. "Oh, it's just you, Mordecai." She put a hand over her chest to calm herself, taking a breath. "What is it now?"

"Still Asa." Mordecai said, putting his hands into his pockets. "He's determined to knock you off of your already rapidly-crumbling pedestal. He believes I've been advising you behind his back and has his moronic lackeys following me around. I think it best if you stay out of his way for a while, and I stay away from you."

She nodded curtly. "Of course he'd go and do that. Why is he so desperate? He should know we're barely even competition anymore." She sighed, not wanting to admit the truth.

"I believe he sees your determination and fears Lackadaisy's potential to rise again. He wants to make sure he knocks you down before you've even gotten back up."

She looked to the ground and sighed. Mordecai hoped she did not start crying. That was the last thing he needed after the day he'd had. His heart skipped a beat when he thought of Viktor, who was most likely here as well. But he wasn't sure he should see him, not after the other night. He didn't know if he'd be able to stay away if he saw him again. "I should get going. I just felt I should update you."

"Thank you very much, Mordecai. Are you sure you don't want to come down stairs for a moment?"

"It's really better that no one else knows I was here."

"I'm sure Viktor would like to see you."

Mordecai tensed just a bit, remembering it was partially her fault that he and Viktor and been separated in the first place, and wondering what she was implying with that statement. When he answered, it was with a heavy heart. "That's quite alright. I have to go."

It was then that a petite dark-haired girl bounded up the stairs, coming to check on Mitzi. Mordecai nodded a final goodbye and made his exit, climbing back into the cab he had told to wait. He was just a little disappointed that he didn't get to see Viktor (no he wasn't, he was absolutely wrecked), and knew it was going to be hard to avoid going there to do just that in the coming weeks. Still, Mordecai ignored the ache where a normal man's heart would be and tried to think of anything but Viktor on the ride home.

* * *

**Hope that was okay. I'm working on it. **

**Listen, guys I really need some feedback on this because it's killing me and holding me back. Do you want sexy times in this fic or not? Should I keep it clean? I don't give a hoot, I want the readers to decide. Please and Thankyou**

**-Daft**


	7. Christmas

**Sooo... this is only about 1,000 words for a reason guys. Next chapter is gonna be the reason this fic is M, and I didn't want to include it in this little update. Just consider this a promise of things to come. **

**-Daft**

* * *

In the weeks surrounding Christmas, Viktor was at his loneliest. He had not seen Mordecai for longer than he would have liked- not since that first night behind the Little Daisy-, Mitzi was distant and solemn most of the time, and Ivy was visiting her father back home. Winter was always a slow time for the speakeasy, and this year it would be no different. At all. Viktor would spend this holiday alone and huddled up in his apartment just like he did every year.

Except for the two he had gotten the chance to share with Mordecai, that is. He let his mind wander to thoughts he had had once upon a time of consummating their relationship on Christmas, or the New Year, perhaps. The idea caused a blush to rise to his face, warming his cheeks. They never did go any further than heated kisses in private. It was something that Viktor both regretted and at the same time, was glad of. Glad of it because he had never considered himself homosexual, or even attracted to men, generally. Though he held no illusions concerning what he felt for Mordecai, and what he thought of the young man's outward unique beauty- if that's what you would have him call it. Besides that, it would have only complicated things between them.

Regretted it because Mordecai was the only person Viktor had ever truly shared a connection with. There was Ivy, but they didn't have a 'connection' per say, she just liked him for some reason. Always following the old guy around and chatting with him happily. He liked her company alright, but it could never compare to what he and Mordecai had shared. Whereas Ivy could never truly know the inner workings of the world in which they lived and worked- the blood and guns and death that it included- Mordecai had lived it with him.

Viktor hated Winter. There was far too much time to think on these things. He was sitting alone in his old, raggedy chair, sipping on some foul-tasting alcoholic beverage that burned going down and occasionally flicking the radio to another station whenever a song he didn't care for began to play. It had briefly crossed his mind many times lately that, given he knew where Mordecai lived, he could easily go and see him at any time. Yet, even though they could easily be turned to actions, these were only thoughts. He told himself that if Mordecai wanted to see him, he would come and see him. The speakeasy was always there, and Viktor had not moved from his apartment in half a decade. Viktor's conclusion? Mordecai must not want to see him. But God, did he miss the spectacled sociopath. Yet, he couldn't put a name to why he missed him so much. Why just spending a those couple hours with him in a rusted old truck back in November had made him feel so elated. Or why, over the past few days, he would drive a few blocks in the direction of Mordecai's apartment, only to turn around before actually going through with it.

It must be normal. They were friends, right? No, friends wasn't right. It was more than friendship. It had to be. Viktor sighed. He had pushed these thoughts from his mind countless times. He had told himself over and over that it wasn't love. That it couldn't be. Viktor didn't _love_ anyone, and Mordecai Heller, well, he wasn't even sure if the man was capable of such an emotion. Viktor just liked Mordecai. A lot. They just had a not-so-platonic friendship with a side of homoerotic attraction and homosexual tendencies. That was all. Yes. Not love. Just an attraction. Perhaps it was just their common interests or their familiarity with one another that caused these confusing emotions and thoughts. Or perhaps, thought Viktor, perhaps there is more to it. Perhaps going and visiting Mordecai wouldn't be so terrible, and maybe, just maybe, whatever feelings Viktor had _would_ be returned by the sociopath.

Viktor sighed and decided to take a nap, turning the radio down and wrapping his worn blanket tighter around himself. Nothing to do around here on a snowy Sunday, anyway.

* * *

It had only taken a couple of weeks for Asa to start trusting him again, and the Savoys stopped following him. It was, surprisingly, a great weight off of Mordecai's shoulders. In the week after things went back to normal, it was difficult for him to focus on much of anything for a significant amount of time. It seemed all he could think of was going to check on the Lackadaisy. Well, if he were honest with himself- which he never was- all he could think of was going to see Viktor.

It was truely ridiculous how much time he spent thinking about the man. He looked up from the book he was reading, not having paid attention to the page he had just read, anyway. He was pining, for crying out loud. _Pining_. Mordecai Heller, reduced to an emotional (by his standards), twitter-painted, unfocused pile of pining mush. Though, he would never acknowledge such a thing.

Of course, it was just boredom. Just the bad weather. Just the lack of work and last but not least, the lack of companionship. At least, that's what Mordecai told himself. He closed his book, standing and taking a deep breath, letting it out in a huff. He smoothed his hair back, glancing at the shelves in his room, and at the dresser, and finally, his perfectly made up bed. Everything was spotless. So much for that distraction. He looked at his clock. Eight pm. Late enough, he supposed as he removed his glasses and began to strip down for bed. New Years Eve was in two days. Maybe he would visit his Slovak friend then, when he could at least use celebration as an excuse to see him.

* * *

**So there you have it. Next update is super special. As long as I can figure out how to write it.**

**-Daft**


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